Reflecting on yesterday with a focus on the good😊 ❤️Woke up from a good sleep - I think my new eye mask is really helping! ❤️I felt quite tired and demotivated at work, but I think I was just anxious about my hospital appointment yesterday afternoon. The good thing here is that I didn't expect too much of myself! It's completely normal to feel a bit nervous about something like that, so I cut myself some slack and was actually quite productive! ❤️I called Alex before I set off for my appointment in the afternoon - I am so grateful for that. People assume that your partner is less present in a long distance relationship, and obviously they are in terms of physical presence, but I think Alex has shown up for me so much over the past few years. I think it says a lot about us that we've maintained that while apart and that's a really great thing to have in my life🥰 ❤️Set off to the hospital! Good thing here is that I didn't get lost (as I'm sometimes prone to do haha) and found the right place in good time! Plus it was sunny! ❤️This is the part where I'm finding it extra hard to focus on the good because these things are so anxiety-inducing, BUT here goes! 🫶I was only there to get something checked out to be on the safe side, which in itself is a good thing! 🫶 The doctor was calm, transparent & took me seriously/listened to me very well! I'm a bit anxious that maybe I didn't explain things very well or missed things out/got things wrong, but he seemed to really know what he was doing so I'm trusting that that's okay! And I'm sure I did a fine job of explaining 🫶He did a physical exam and none of that was scary or painful - in fact some of it tickled😂 🫶He said he doesn't think there is anything serious to worry about!! Just going to stop on this to note how good that is for a second, because it is very good indeed! 🫶He has also suggested that we do some scans/tests as a precaution, because of course physical exams don't pick up everything. The good thing here again is that he said this is as a precaution, rather than because he thinks anything is wrong, and I'm also grateful to have seen someone who is keen to be so thorough! 🫶I called Alex right after, and I'm grateful that he answered straight away and let me talk through it all with him. I messaged my friend too and she was very reassuring and reconfirmed for me that this was a very positive outcome (I find it helpful when people do that because I, ironically, struggle to focus on the good without my worries taking over haha) 🫶I won't find out a date for the scans etc for a while, so I am going to try to park this in my mind until I get new information! Reminding myself that worrying and dwelling on the situation won't help anything. 🫶I've also twittered away a lot about myself to Alex recently, so I'm going to try especially so to focus more on him and how he's doing in our next conversation🙌 ❤️That evening, I did nearly get stuck in the worry weeds, but I am very keen not to do that. So I got myself to Tesco, made myself some salmon pasta, read more of The Secret History and chatted to my flatmate😁
Posted by Moll! at 2023-06-03 07:39:02 UTC