☆ day 15 of 90 - hitting the lows☆ hello everybody, hope you had a lovely and well deserved day off. i took a day off studying today too, as i had plans to go on a walk with a friend. we treated ourselves to a Starbucks latte, and sat on (the opposite sides of) a bench, reminiscing about what life used to be like. suddenly, the conversation seemed to switch - talking about our mental health, rather than the usual funny topics we'd discuss. it turns out that she had actually been struggling with depression for many years, and i had no clue, just as she had no clue of what i have gone through these past few months, and even to this day. it was great not to feel "weird" or "insane" when talking about these things, as if someone truly understands, because she is not as lucky as me to have so many wonderful people to talk to. we've decided to support each other on our individual journeys to heal, and i hope that this is something that will be beneficial for us both. however, after meeting her, i fell under this intense anxiety and hopelessness, which started telling me that i was a bad friend for not noticing what was happening with her, that i shouldn't have burdened her with my own troubles, that the rest of my life will be this hard and painful. but, in these low moments, we have to remind ourselves who we are, and i refuse to condemn myself for my past - i won't feel embarrassed about it, because struggle creates strength. i know i can go through hell and back, and i will do it again if i have to, because there is no condemnation for those in Christ. so, going to bed with a heavy and anxious heart, but i'm not going to let this throw me off my game this week. praying for a good night of sleep for us all! Xx

Posted by bluebirdbubble5 at 2021-04-05 21:41:10 UTC