If my written thoughts seem gentle or kind or bring joy or relief or relax or help or useful or ... well, then you are unconditionally welcome to help yourself to them for they themselves are not mine but just an aspect of a legacy that I have inherited in abundance and which I gladly offer up to one and all who appreciate them. Over time I have heard people say many things about my written or spoken thoughts and I have often taken their points of view most seriously, only to realise that their comments seemed to not fit or maybe were not quite right or maybe I misunderstood them or maybe they themselves lacked my perspective so their points may well be fair and valid for them but not for me or everyone... and this sometimes is the problem with doubt because it distresses me sometimes and it’s a silly thing judging but sometimes it seems I do it and I gradually started to step back and judge my own thoughts and have feelings about them and see or imagine a range of perspectives ... a spectrum of meanings in my own thoughts ... the labelling of thoughts or feelings with words never quite does them full justice it seems. Like a digital sampling device I keep refining and differentiating, making distinctions that are nicer than nice and I fill the whole page with words in an effort to make the ineffable effable and gosh there’s no end to this and the sky is full of dark clouds from the black ink of my pen or typewriter ribbon... well, it is in a way an endearing thing to do but it lacks faith doesn’t it? a little bit anxious? or it is rather like playing poo sticks and seeing my stick caught in an eddy... and here see also I sometimes say “my thoughts are like clouds ⛅️... if you see something in them that you like and wish to stop and appreciate you are welcome to tarry as long as you like ... If you see something frightening or ugly or unpleasant or offensive or upsetting, please don’t let that trouble you ... it’s not my conscious intention I am just making perhaps a bit too much effort to connect ... in just a moment when one lets that cloud go ... along comes a different cloud ... and you can come back to the breath ... zzz ... ooops mind you don’t find yourself staring straight at the 🌞! 😉 yes I find the Sun a bit cheeky like that, hiding there waiting for you to stop being so enchanted by the allusions and illusions of the clouds! But wow what an angel the Sun is, all my thoughts so far are based on life made possible by its power 🥰 ... breathe 🧘🏽 ... and in light of that now let’s enjoy this gift, to be, the best present I can imagine for the time being, just Now...

Posted by Charles at 2021-01-27 14:26:16 UTC